Denny's Story

Sandra and I are so excited and honored to serve at The Amazima School in Jinja, Uganda. Someone who has known me for a long time, however, might be skeptical and ask, “Seriously, Dude, you want to do what?” Move to Africa. Live in a 700 square-foot apartment. Be surrounded by 24 teenage girls. For two years. The only way I can explain it is to look at a story about Gideon in Judges 6:11-16:

11 Now the angel of the Lord came and sat under the terebinth at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, while his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. 12 And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.” 13 And Gideon said to him, “Please, my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the Lord has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.” 14 And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” 15 And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house.” 16 And the Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.”

When I read what commentators write about Gideon, I find many that are critical of him. They see him as afraid and one even referred to Gideon as a “scaredy cat.” They pick up on this because Gideon is beating wheat in a winepress, not on a threshing floor. The threshing floors were large stone slabs, on high ground, out in the open. Winepresses were down in the valley, not as easily seen, and perhaps blocked from view by other structures. Verse 11 says Gideon was doing this “to hide” and the commentators identify Gideon as afraid. Some commentators also question Gideon’s faith. They see his faith as small, blaming God for his circumstances in verse 13, and not trusting God to defeat the Midianites.

When I look at Gideon, I don’t see someone doing things wrong. I see someone doing things right. The situation is dire. Judges 6:1-10 explains how for seven years the Midianites have been terrorizing the people of Israel. Law and order has completely broken down. The people have retreated into caves and dens in order to find safety. In the midst of this, Gideon has still found a way to get out and do work necessary to provide for his family. I think he is smart to “hide” the fact he is beating out the wheat because he is protecting it from being stolen or burned. I see Gideon as doing a good thing.

I use my imagination to picture Gideon. Normally, the cows would have been used to crush the wheat in order to separate the chaff from the kernel. Or they might have used a heavy stone wheel to roll over the wheat to break it down. The winepress is too small for this so Gideon has to do it himself. As he is beating out the wheat, I imagine his muscles are getting tired. Sweat is dripping from his face. I also picture him trying to separate the chaff from the wheat. He is not on a large slab in the open on high ground, so there is no breeze to blow the lightweight chaff away as the wheat is being crushed. Winepresses had sides that were two-to-three feet high. In order to separate the chaff from the wheat kernel, it seems that Gideon would have tossed the grain into the air so it could separate as it fell back to the ground. Specks of wheat and chaff likely would have fallen on his hair and clothes, and stuck to his sweaty face. Gideon is doing hard, dirty work, and it is all to provide food for his family. I see much to admire in what Gideon is doing.

I also see Gideon as having faith. As described in Judges 6:1-10, the people of Israel turned away from following the Lord and worshipped pagan gods. Gideon’s father even has an altar to Baal that perhaps was located relatively close to where Gideon is beating out the wheat (cf. Judges 6:25). Gideon has not turned away from the Lord. He knows who the Lord is and recognizes the Angel of the Lord as YHWH in verse 15. He has listened to the stories about the Lord told by their fathers. He does not question that the Lord performed “wonderful deeds” in bringing the people of Israel up from Egypt.  His theology is off. God has not forsaken the people as Gideon states in verse 13. Judges 6:1-10 explains that the people have forsaken God. Despite this theological error, Gideon has faith.

Gideon’s failing is that he does not see himself as God sees him, as a man of valor who is mighty and strong. Gideon sees only the weakness of his clan and his position in his father’s house (6:15). As a result, Gideon cannot see himself doing what it is that God is calling him to do. It is almost as if Gideon has put himself in a box. This is who I am. This is what I do. I cannot save Israel. It’s simply not me.

I see myself in the way I have described Gideon. For many years I have done the right thing: worked hard, provided for my family, and generally built a comfortable life. In doing so, I created a box for myself of who I was and what I was capable of doing. I have been a man of faith, having a relationship with God, praying regularly, reading my Bible, asking God for guidance, drawing close to Him. But, for many years, my faith did not really grow. God used me. I led Bible studies, taught Sunday school, and served at church. Still, I had created a box for myself. I saw myself only as someone who served in the local church, teaching adults, in the United States.

While I was comfortable in my box, Sandra was praying over the years that God would use her as she describes in her post “Sandra’s Story.” God began showing her that the box I had created for myself had to be broken down. She raised questions about our career, our housing, and our material needs. As we worked through these questions together, my trust in God grew so I could agree with her and work with her to get off the career “fast track,” downsize the housing, and learn to live with less, without fear.

This process opened my eyes to how little my faith had grown in the past. I learned that my faith had failed to grow not because I was caught up in sin or doing the wrong thing. My faith had failed to grow because I was relying on the talents and gifts God gave me for my power and strength, rather than God Himself. As I began to surrender to God my strengths, my career path, my comfortable lifestyle, my goals and plans for our future – in short, everything that made me feel secure – I saw not only my faith grow, but also the walls of my box break down. As my box fell apart, I became focused on simply trying to follow the path of God’s leading, regardless of where the path took me, even if it was to a place that was “not me,” even if it was to a place half-way around the world, in a 700 square-foot apartment, surrounded by 24 teenage girls.