Not All Ends Well

A common scene in Buzika,
where many of the Ruth House girls are from.

There is one in Ruth House, whose name we are choosing not to mention, who has drawn our attention as much as any other girl. In some ways we feel like we know her well. All of the girls have difficulties. This girl's challenges, however, seemed to present more unsolved problems than others. Her mother died a few years ago and she lives with her Jjajja (grandma). At home visits last year, we had no sense of the love that we felt at other houses. We saw nothing showing that her Jjajja provided for the girl in the way that a mother would. 

Last year, she always had a difficult time buying the requirements, such as soap, socks, pens, pencils, and notebooks, she needed to be admitted to school at the beginning of each term. She usually arrived late for the start of terms because she failed to have her requirements and once was sent home at the start of a term for such failure. We voiced our concerns about the situation. Amazima agreed to provide the requirements to her, something usually done only for girls who have no adult support at all. Her spoken English was poor. We often had to repeat ourselves, speak slowly, and sometimes get assistance from another student when speaking to her. Her English was difficult for us to understand. She spoke softly. Her pronunciation was not clear. She struggled to find the English words for what she wanted to say.

Academically, she struggled more than other girls. Math was a problem. She did not know her math facts. She was caught cheating twice. Stealing was also an issue. She and another student took calculators out of a teacher’s desk, they were caught, and served detention. There were also questions in her dorm room at Ruth House. Clothing, property, and homework would disappear and accusations of theft would be made.

Over the year we saw growth. Sandra engaged with the girl.  Sandra assisted with Math and English homework. The girl received counseling. She responded. She approached Sandra consistently to ask for help. She talked to Sandra about her concerns, even with small things like headaches. She also took it upon herself to get more help in Math and English. Every day after class she received tutoring. Teachers began to see a difference and we heard comments about the huge improvement they saw in the girl.

Students going to class

To start this year, we faced early on questions about her home life. When we visited the home, the Jjajja spoke more lovingly of the girl than we had ever seen. Everyone said they were excited about the new school year, indicated the girl would arrive on time, and did not mention any difficulties with requirements. Yet, when the term began, the girl did not arrive again because she failed to have her requirements. We questioned whether her family was truly supportive of her education. But we also had questions about this particular girl as she had lied several times in the past. When the girl did arrive, the momentum from last year seemed to continue. As the term progressed, her grades showed marked improvement. The girl seemed happy to be on campus.

About four weeks ago the wheels fell of the cart. We had Visitation Day. The parents and guardians came on campus to see how their kids were doing, bringing goodies and treats. That night on the veranda, we had all the girls share their treats with the house in a big celebration of a successful Visitation Day. We had a great time and our girl we are writing about had many treats to share with us.

The Visitation Day potluck celebration

The next day, a girl from another house, who is a good friend of our girl’s, was broken hearted to find her treats were missing. The girl thought our girl had her treats. After talks with our girl and phone calls to family members, it was confirmed that the treats were indeed the other girl’s. Despite the obvious facts, our girl refused to concede she had taken the treats and refused to return the treats. We had to remove the treats in order to give them back to the other girl. Ruth House was broken hearted over this situation as the shame that results with theft is staggering. 

After a meeting with the Disciplinary Committee, a few days later, our girl was able to confess, but there were questions about her sincerity. She was suspended for a week in accordance with the school's discipline procedures in light of all the integrity issues associated with this girl. Before she went home, Sandra talked with her about the lying, not just the public lies to others, but the deep-seated lies she was telling herself. They discussed that we cannot do this life alone, that Jesus will walk beside us, and that the reason he died on the cross was to carry our shame.

In order to return from her suspension the girl had to come to school with her Jjajja, make restitution for the stolen items, and apologize to the students at the weekly assembly. The girl showed up a day later than was required without any restitution. The Jjajja claimed that the girl never her told her anything about the incident. We did not question this, but wondered why the Jjajja never asked the girl why she was home. When the girl did return, Ruth House girls welcomed her with open arms, but the girl refused the welcome and told everyone she would being going back home. When the time came for her to apologize to the school, the girl tore the zipper in her skirt and hid in the latrine so no one could find her.

Several meetings were held to discuss what more needed to be done. A primary concern was that the girl seemed to have no remorse over what she had done and her behavior was very hurtful and disruptive for the students on campus. As meetings were held, lots of information came to light. It turns out the girl had a long history of stealing, cheating, lying, and bullying that went back even before her mother died. The mentors in the village have been frustrated for years with the family. The Jjajja often travels, leaving the kids at home to fend for themselves. They can never get straight information from anyone and there is no support or buy in for what Amazima has been offering. The Ruth House girls confirmed that the girl had stolen numerous items over the past year, including clothes and schoolwork. She bullied any girls who challenged her.

Prayer partners

Eventually the hard decision was made to expel the girl from the school permanently and remove her from Amazima's program. As a result, we are now only 23. We still see the girl as a member of Ruth House. We pray for her daily, that she will accept Jesus in her heart and change her ways. The news we hear about her is sparse and not encouraging. Please join us in our prayers.